The Broken Heart of A Snowmobiler

I’ve got an itch, and no, it’s nothing that can be cured by a moderate dose of Preparation H.
Nope. The only remedy for this itch is about two feet of fresh snow.
First of all let me say that I’m not cursing about the recent spell of warm weather. It’s the lack of snow on the ground that has left myself and other snowmobilers in the area whimpering like babies in need of a bottle.
I haven’t missed the obvious side effects of cold weather, like mainlining coffee for three hours every morning in an attempt to shake the shivers, or dealing with the inherent risks of frostbite on my derriere from firing up the Chevy when it’s 35 below zero. That much is a given.
But hey, enough is enough. This tropical-like weather and dry spell is really beginning to put a crimp in what has so far proven to be a virtually non-existent snowmobiling season.
I mean, what gives? Here we are in the middle of January – typically known as the coldest month of the year – and there’s barely a dusting of snow on the ground.
I can’t remember a past winter that’s been as “bone dry” as this one even though last year ranks right up there as a close second. As such, I’ve put my faith in the so-called experts, waiting patiently for any word which would suggest winter is on its way.
Instead, I’ve been forced to swallow the daily dribble of Global TV meteorologist Claire Martin who continues to remind me that, “There is no end in sight to this glorious mild weather with temperatures remaining 20 degrees above the seasonal average.”
According to Environment Canada, this year’s lack of snowfall hasn’t been this bad since 1964. While we’re basking in the sun, the east coast is digging out. Places like Newfoundland, P.E.I. and a number of Yankee destinations have been hit hard by Old Man Winter’s onslaught in recent weeks.
Take Buffalo for instance – a city that has received more than 200 centimetres of the white stuff in the past two months.
They’ve even been getting it down in Texas and Louisianna. Go figure!
You know something has gone array when Texas has more snow on the ground than we do! If the mild conditions persist any, we may have to consider becoming a suburb of Vancouver.
Personally, I’ve all but given up on Old Man Winter. I’ve hung up the winter coat, put away the snow shovel and forced myself to face the gloom and doom reality that venturing through waist-high power on a snowmobile is likely not in the cards.
The truth is the only aspect of weather which is predictable is its ability to be unpredictable.
But, hey, we’re not out of the woods just yet. As sure as the sun sets in the West, I’m betting that sooner or later we will get it, and get it good. Most likely in April and May after the garden is planted and the flowers begin to bloom.
Or better yet, the day after I pull out my golf clubs.

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